This post hit the nail on the head and really applies to so many things in my life right now beyond social relationships! I really like the clear questions you set out (is it them or is it me, explore versus exploit, etc) for using how you relate to other people to make sense of your own self.
It’s so important to ask these questions whether it’s in the people, where you live, your job, and even hobbies we choose to pour ourselves into. It’s really easy to chalk up good and bad interactions to chemistry or timing or vibes and while our gut feelings are valid, I think as we get older being explicitly intentional with our time and energy is easily overlooked. Definitely asking myself a lot of similar things rn, thanks for sharing!
It's true, beyond social relationships, these big choices we make in life like where we live, who we choose to spend time with all come together to form our identity. To make these choices with intentionality brings with it, I think, a deeper connection with life.
god this post speaks to me on a different level. there's 2 ways dealing with some roadblock: internalizing it or putting it on the externals—there are so many people who struggle w confidence because they internalize everything, and yet others never grow because anyone that doesn't like them is automatuically an asshole.
and 100% on the parents telling you to keep optionality, *all* of the time. definitely fucked with the way I do things today and even if they might not necessarily be wrong, I think it being a mantra isn't hte best. i think we should be comfortable with putting *most* of our eggs into one basket... and it's so hard but it's the only way to build true connections. :) do you think you're leaning more towards the first or the second type of dealing with a problem?
i think i lean a lot more towards the second right now because i think i've done a good job in the last year choosing what i want to double down - which baskets i want to put my eggs in essentially. so when i'm in these situations i feel like i have a good intuition now on which lens to view the interaction through
This is something that i'm thinking about a lot lately.
People are defined by their actions and their choices.
Not by introspections and declarations.
Related quotes:
Rob Henderson:
"You are what you do. Not what you say or what you believe. People use words to strategically justify their actions and blind you to who they really are. Don't be fooled by cheap talk. Pay close attention to how people actually spend their time and effort."
Ted Gioia:
"Words are something you live by. They are defined by your actions, not by other words."
This post hit the nail on the head and really applies to so many things in my life right now beyond social relationships! I really like the clear questions you set out (is it them or is it me, explore versus exploit, etc) for using how you relate to other people to make sense of your own self.
It’s so important to ask these questions whether it’s in the people, where you live, your job, and even hobbies we choose to pour ourselves into. It’s really easy to chalk up good and bad interactions to chemistry or timing or vibes and while our gut feelings are valid, I think as we get older being explicitly intentional with our time and energy is easily overlooked. Definitely asking myself a lot of similar things rn, thanks for sharing!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts Ashley :)
It's true, beyond social relationships, these big choices we make in life like where we live, who we choose to spend time with all come together to form our identity. To make these choices with intentionality brings with it, I think, a deeper connection with life.
god this post speaks to me on a different level. there's 2 ways dealing with some roadblock: internalizing it or putting it on the externals—there are so many people who struggle w confidence because they internalize everything, and yet others never grow because anyone that doesn't like them is automatuically an asshole.
and 100% on the parents telling you to keep optionality, *all* of the time. definitely fucked with the way I do things today and even if they might not necessarily be wrong, I think it being a mantra isn't hte best. i think we should be comfortable with putting *most* of our eggs into one basket... and it's so hard but it's the only way to build true connections. :) do you think you're leaning more towards the first or the second type of dealing with a problem?
i think i lean a lot more towards the second right now because i think i've done a good job in the last year choosing what i want to double down - which baskets i want to put my eggs in essentially. so when i'm in these situations i feel like i have a good intuition now on which lens to view the interaction through
This is something that i'm thinking about a lot lately.
People are defined by their actions and their choices.
Not by introspections and declarations.
Related quotes:
Rob Henderson:
"You are what you do. Not what you say or what you believe. People use words to strategically justify their actions and blind you to who they really are. Don't be fooled by cheap talk. Pay close attention to how people actually spend their time and effort."
Ted Gioia:
"Words are something you live by. They are defined by your actions, not by other words."